Chapter 21: Unanswered Questions

"Arnav?"

"I knew this dress would look beautiful on you." He smiled at her reflection while simultaneously pulling her closer.

Khushi felt the blood in her veins rush as her back came into contact with her chiseled chest. "You chose this?"

Arnav shrugged in response. "I saw it and I immediately thought that it was made for you...Only, now I'm realizing that my imagination didn't do you justice, Khushi."

Her surprised gaze held his confident one through the reflection in the mirror while his hand moved along her arms. With a second-long pause at her elbows, his hands traced their path across and around her slender waist, leaving a wake of fire on every inch of her skin that he touched.

Their eye lock broke when Khushi's eyes fluttered closed as the fire started a dance of butterflies in the pit of her stomach. Making a note of every slight expression that passed by on her face, Arnav tightened his grip on her possessively.

When she leaned into the haven of his arms, her eyes still closed, Arnav couldn't help but smile at her reaction. No matter how much practice she'd had in the past, she was increasingly becoming worse at masking her expressions around him. Never before had he been able to see through her as clearly as he was able to now.

Taking an impulsive decision, he dipped his head and placed his lips on the bare strip of skin on her shoulder. The faintest gasp of surprise escaped her slightly parted lips even as her hands closed over his on her waist as if seeking additional support. In that gesture, Arnav found his motivation"his permission, rather"and he placed another kiss a mere centimeter away from the previous one.

A shiver ran through her spine which reverberated through his chest in their snuggled state. That small shiver was his undoing. Before another rational thought could cross either's mind, Arnav spun her around to face him. The next second, Khushi found her back plastered against the cool surface of the mirror while his warm body pressed down on her.

One of her hands clung to his shoulder tightly, seeking support, while her other hand held a fistful of the smooth fabric of her dupatta. She was aware of three things: Arnav's forehead leaning against hers, His minty breath fanning across her lips and jaw, and a nagging feeling akin to guilt which she shoved aside.

With his one hand intact around her waist, he moved the other to hold her hand. Her breaths became rugged as he pried her fingers open one by one and freed the dupattafrom her grip. His fingers slipped into the gaps between hers.

Arnav's eyes flew open a second after he intertwined their fingers. The feel of cold metal on a particular finger of hers came as a stark reminder of the situation. As the rage took place of the passionate desires, his grip on her hand tightened without warning and she hissed in pain the next second.

Arnav let go of her hand knowing that he'd caused the ring to dig into her skin harshly"making her remember what that stupid ring symbolized.

The guilt prickled Khushi's heart as she lifted her left hand and looked at the ring that was snuggled to her ring finger, symbolizing that she was committed to a man. A man who was not the one she was just shamelessly clinging to...the one she just might have ended up kissing if the reminder had come a couple seconds late.

Arnav watched the fog clear from her eyes and get replaced with sadness. The previous five minutes weren't supposed to happen. He hadn't intended to get so close to her and he sure as hell hadn't intended to almost kiss her. Regardless of all that, he had her where he wanted her. Arnav was forced to take a back seat as the ruthless ASR obtained the reins of the situation.

"Does it feel the same when he touches you?"

Khushi's blood chilled, not because of the question, but because of the answer she dared not admit to him.

No...it feels nothing like that when he touches me. It's only you, Arnav...always you.

The thought came unexpectedly. She knew the answer but that didn't mean that her inner voice could remind her at every chance it got. What the hell was she doing reacting this way to Arnav when she was engaged to NK? What the hell was she doing letting in the man who had broken her heart years ago, albeit unintentionally?

The anger at herself rained down upon Arnav in the form of a disgusted glare. She clenched her jaw shut and looked away. She tried to side step him but he blocked her path by placing both his hands on her sides.

"What the hell are you doing Arnav?"

"Finding answers to my questions." He replies simply.

Khushi looked away. She didn't want to do this right now. This was a mess that she didn't want to bring out before Anjali's wedding. She didn't want this mess to mar these wedding memories.

"I know you won't answer the question I just asked...or the one I've asked you twice before..." Arnav learned closer and she tried to lean back as if the mirror would bend to her wishes and give her more distance from him. "I know you won't answer me if I ask you whether you love NK or not...let's try answering a different question, Khush."

She turned to face him and in the wake of anger, ignored the fact that he was so close that their nose tips were touching. Her defiant expression was enough to tell him that she was in no mood of agreeing to his demands...but she didn't know the question that awaited her.

"Don't you want to know what my question is Khush?"

"I don't give a damn, Arnav...just let me go." She looked at him squarely but made no attempt to move.

Arnav smirked, seeing the glimpse of his old stubborn, tomboy Khushi.

This is more like it, Khush...I've missed the girl who used to argue with me without backing down...

"Answer my question first..."

"WHAT?!?! What is it?! What question is it now?" Khushi said frustrated. Every time he asked her whether she loved NK, she wanted to slap him and tell him that she didn't love NK...that she loved him...that she has loved him for years. But she couldn't do that again. She couldn't put her heart on the line again. And she knew that if he didn't stop pestering her about this, she would end up blurting the truth to him. She didn't want that...She just wanted to leave.

His questioning gaze on her face made her look away. Arnav found the perfect opportunity to drop his question.

"Are you in love with me, Khushi?"

Khushi went still. Her heart hammered, her breaths hitched, her eyes rounded, her blood tuned icy.

Why? Why would you ask me this?! Why now!?

She waited for him to say something more...perhaps even repeat the question. Had she even heard him right or was it a figment of her imagination? What should she do? Answer the questions honestly or lie? Should she ask the questions his question had aroused in her? Why did he ask her this question?

Khushi turned to face him with exaggerated slowness. His composure was calm, yet nervousness danced in his eyes as if her answer mattered to him more than anything else.

Why is he nervous? Is he hoping the answer to be a yes...or is he afraid that it will be a yes?

The latter doubt shut her down. The curtains fell on her face and Arnav blinked in confusion. She'd been expressive just a second ago. He'd seen rage; confusion, and nervousness skitter across that beautiful face. The last expression had been of fear.

He'd even take that rather than this. Her schooled expression was like a splinter under his skin. He hated it.

"I refuse to answer any of your stupid and pointless questions." She crossed her arms stubbornly.

A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. "You will answer my questions Khushi...sooner or later...but you will." He looked into her eyes, finding his words echoing in the depths of those brown orbs.

"Oh, my God Payal! You have to see her!"

Lavanya's loud and excited voice broke the silence and Arnav stepped away from Khushi. Khushi took a deep breath and composed herself, adjusting the Lehenga absent mindedly.

Get your act together Khushi. You can't let him do this to you again. You need to focus. You're engaged to NK. NK doesn't deserve this...it's unfair to him and to you as well...why are you inviting more pain for yourself...besides...this isn't you...you're not unfaithful, damn it!

A second later, Payal and Lavanya walked into the change room and stopped seeing Arnav there. Both their eyes rose higher up on their foreheads, silently questioning him.

"What? Why are you looking at me as if I can't be here? This is my office, you know." Arnav chuckled.

Khushi looked at him from the corner of her eyes. He was talking and acting as if the entire conversation between them had never happened.

"Oh my God!!" Payal squealed. "Look at you, Khushi! You look absolutely great! Lavanya was right! Anjali is going to be so excited...come! You need to see her bridal couture too!"

Payal grabbed Khushi's hand and led her out of the change room and Khushi left without a backward glance at Arnav. It took everything in her power to not look at him but she was afraid that he might find the answer to her question in her eyes.

Lavanya followed Payal and Khushi but stopped at the entrance to look back at Arnav. Arnav held her gaze, smiled gently, and nodded.

"Thank you." His voice was barely above a whisper but she heard him anyway.

She winked at him in response. With a smug grin in place, she turned around a followed the girls away from the change room. By the time she got to Anjali's personal little change room, Anjali was already calming down with her squeals upon seeing Khushi.

"You have no idea how amazing you look!" Anjali looked at Khushi from head to toe. "NK is a goner on the wedding day! He might marry you in the same altar after seeing you in that!"

Payal and Lavanya laughed while Khushi rolled her eyes.

"Swati! Good job with that Lehenga...I'll tell Arnav to promote you for this!" Anjali patted the young woman's shoulder.

Swati chuckled and blushed shyly at the praise. "I wish I could take credit Anjali ji but I can't... I didn't design that...ASR did."

Khushi's head snapped to Swati at that piece of information. Her eyebrows knit together in confusion. She immediately looked for the tag on the dress. In the last three years, Khushi had kept tabs on Arnav's success. She'd seen his interviews on the TV, read his articles in the magazines. She knew that Arnav designed sometimes. The dress she'd worn at the cocktail party was one of his designs too. She found the tag and immediately turned it over to look for the mark which differentiated Arnav's designs.

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw the small Anchor drawn on a tilt next to AR Designs'. So he had designed this Lehenga.

Arnav designed this? Then...why didn't he say so earlier?

What she didn't process was what he indeed had said. 'Only, now I'm realizing that my imagination didn't do you justice, Khushi.'-- Not only had he designed this, he had designed it with her in mind...just like all of his other designs.
____

Arnav stepped out of the limousine, feeling fatigued. His day, after his conversation with Khushi in the change room yesterday, had been extremely busy as he tried to finish work in advance in order to keep the next few days free for his Di's wedding. He had worked through majority of the night and then taken the private jet to Rajasthan around noon the next day.

He looked up at the elegant Sheesh Mahal which looked quiet from the outside but he knew that it would be abuzz indoors with the chatter of hundreds of ladies that had gathered for Anjali's bridal shower.

All he wanted after a long couple of days of work and a short, yet tiring, flight to Rajasthan was some sleep. All he'd been able to think about during the flight was, obviously, Khushi. His plan was set for the next three days and his plan for tonight would set things in motion.

If he had gauged her reactions correctly, she would put up a fight before she opened up about anything. This was the reason why he had altered his original plan to include the little conversation he planned to have with her tonight. If she wouldn't confide in him about her feelings, he would take the first step.

Tonight he would determine where NK stands in all of this. He couldn't afford to waste a single opportunity. The upcoming three days would decide his equation, and perhaps his future, with"or without"Khushi.

Little did he know that by the end of these three days, his equations with many people will be altered?
_____

That night, during the sangeet, Arnav stood with Akash, Rohan, and NK as the ladies danced away in a small group in the centre of the big hall. Arnav's eyes had been glued to Khushi since the moment she had walked into the hall looking like a nymph from the heavens. Dressed in a white and magenta net saree with matching jewelry and hair done in loose curls, she looked the epitome of beauty.

She had looked his way quite a few times and every time she would hold his gaze for a couple seconds before glancing away. She had barely exchanged a few words with him and he gathered that she still hadn't come to terms with the conversation in the office yesterday. She had kept her distance on one pretence or another but he didn't bother to stop her. He would corner her later because he needed to talk to her tonight and he'd be damned if he let her get away then.

He tore his eyes away from hers with great difficulty when Akash elbowed him rather roughly. When Arnav glared at him, he found his cousin glaring back. Arnav kicked himself mentally and nodded at him.

Akash rolled his eyes exasperatedly at Arnav. It seemed to Akash as if he was doing more work than Arnav himself to bring Khushi back into his life. With a goal in mind, Akash turned to NK.

"So NK...tell us more about you and Khushi...I mean...you already know all our stories..." Akash smiled.

Rohan raised an eyebrow and looked at Arnav. Had Akash gone absolutely crazy? He was making NK speak about Khushi in front of Arnav?! As Arnav would say...what the! Whatever, if Akash wanted to die, so be it...but Rohan had no intentions of being ripped to pieces three days before his wedding.

He excused himself and headed towards Anjali and the girls. He'd rather choose the vicious circle of dancing ladies than face ASR's wrath.

Nk took a sip of the champagne and shrugged. "There are no stories...I mean...we met at school and then she joined the danced academy...we became good friends and then got engaged..."

"I know that...I mean...when did you fall in love with her? Common man...share with us...as far as we knew her, she was a tomboy who would turn down any advances with a single glare..." Akash chuckled.

NK laughed. "I can't imagine her as a tomboy...she has always been a well dressed woman...always prim and proper...always suitable for the occasion... You guys keep bringing up her tomboy personality but I find it hard to believe..."

Akash shrugged. "Maybe she decided to change once she moved...so how long have you two been in a relationship..."

NK frowned in confusion and looked at Arnav and then at Rohan before turning back to Akash. "We...we went from being friends to being engaged...you know the story, Akash..."

Akash sighed exasperatedly. "Let me spell it out for you buddy...how long have you been in love with her."

"Oh...Oh!!" Realization finally dawned upon NK. To Arnav and Akash's surprise, NK threw his head back and laughed as if Akash had just recited the joke of the day. "It's an arranged marriage Akash...not a pretend-arranged marriage like yours but an actual arranged marriage...we both understand each other and care about each other but she's not in love with me...not that I know of, anyway...and as of now, I'm not in love with her..."

"Why?" Arnav's husky voice made both heads snap towards him. Arnav, however, wasn't looking at them, he was busy looking at the group of women"rather Khushi"as he spoke. "Why not? She's smart...she's independent...kind, loving...she's beautiful."

NK followed Arnav's gaze and a small smile lit up his face as he watched her while Akash's jaw dropped in exasperation.

What the hell is Bhai doing?!?! Has he gone crazy??

All was quiet until NK's dreamy voice brought Arnav back to earth. "She is, isn't she? So graceful...so...beautiful."

Without another word, or so much as a backward glance, NK also made his way towards the women, leaving a stunned Arnav and a very annoyed Akash behind.

"What the fuck is wrong with you??" Akash nudged Arnav's side. "Are you stupid? Now I see why Arvind Chachu wants me to help you with this...you're absolutely clueless..."

"Huh?" Arnav finally realized that Akash was speaking to him.

Akash groaned. "Let me remind you bhai that you're supposed to be winning Khushi back...not making NK fall in love with her! What the hell did you just do?!"

"I..." Arnav began but Akash threw his head back in frustration.

"Oh save it! Seems like I'll have to do everything!" Swearing and muttering under his breath, Akash turned towards the group but paused hearing Arnav's voice.

"If you let that go for a second, Akash, you'll recall that NK just admitted something important about his relationship with Khushi." The confidence rang crystal clear in Arnav's voice after the hefty boost it had gotten post NK's confession.

Akash turned to face him again. "I know...I heard...but you pretty much just threw that out the window with your little slip there...now stay here, stop messing up, and let me take care of the rest."

Akash turned on his heel and left a chuckling Arnav behind. He only stood watching for a couple minutes before Lavanya came and dragged him towards them. Lavanya shoved her way into the circle with him, efficiently sandwiching him between Khushi and herself.

Arnav registered the sudden nervousness that entered Khushi's posture. She casted several fleeting glances at him but never held his gaze. Every time she touched him accidentally or vice versa, she would slide away almost immediately. Glad that Akash and Lavanya were keeping NK distracted and distanced from Khushi, he took the opportunity to add to her nervousness with the aid of flirty grazes and winks.

As the night reached its finale closer to midnight, another piece of information was handed to Arnav on a platter. If it weren't for what he found out...Arnav might have ripped off Aman's arm for holding Khushi's hand over her head, twirling her on the spot. It was as her hand went up that the magenta blouse rose a tad bit higher on her rib-cage, exposing the inked script across one of the left ribs.

So that's where her 5th tattoo is...across the ribs, on the left, close to her heart. Now the next step is to find out what it says...

Khushi was on the edge by the time the night came to end. Every fleeting, but very deliberate, touch from Arnav had increased her nervousness slightly. When the nervousness had reached its pinnacle, it had turned into anger. Both at herself and at him. What the hell was she doing, reacting this way to him? And what the hell was he trying to prove with all of this sudden questioning?!

She had sighed in relief when he bade everyone a goodnight and retired for the night. Now, at almost 2 in the morning, Khushi sat with Lavanya in the living room, talking about Lavanya's upcoming venture into a dance seminar week where she would be participating in various workshops to acquire further skills and expertise.

"You two are still awake?" His husky voice echoed seductively in the quiet dining room.

Khushi felt her heartbeats race once again as he entered back into the room. He casually pulled out the chair next to Khushi and settled comfortably, resting his arm across the back of Khushi's chair, seemingly unaware of the change in Khushi's posture.

"So are you..." Lavanya pointed out.

Arnav shrugged nonchalantly. "Couldn't sleep."

Lavanya yawned loudly. "Well, I was just about to leave...I'll let you two friends catch up...Good night guys."

Khushi gaped, unable to utter a single word, as Lavanya skipped out of the dining room. The room went eerily quiet and the silence seemed to close in on Khushi.

"You have to stop doing this...I'm running out of adjectives to use to describe how amazing you look..." His voice was private...as if his words could never be applied to anyone but her.

"Th-thanks..." She blurted, feeling the heat return in her cheeks, while her eyes scanned over her saree once.

Get out, Khushi...go now...

She didn't even bother to bid him goodbye as she stood up to leave.

"Wait Khushi." His warm and stern voice stopped her in her tracks as if it were physically holding her back.

Her heart jumped into her throat and then plummeted to her stomach when his arms circled around her waist. The damned feeling was back and she couldn't help but lean into his inviting warmth.

What the hell Khushi Kumari Gupta! Stop behaving like a hormonal teenager...get a grip. Its Arnav...the man who thought of you as a tomboy all his life...yes but...he's been nice so far...he's been saying sweet things...don't forget that he's also been pestering you with questions...but the way he touches me...the way it makes me feel...the way...wait, what?! Slap yourself Khushi!

Even her inner voice shut up abruptly when he caressed her skin at the edge of her blouse with the pad of his thumb.

"What does this tattoo say?"

Khushi shivered invitingly in his arms. The answer rolled off her tongue automatically. "Alis Volat Propriis".

Arnav's heart soared. Did she even realize how intimate this gesture was? The fact that she had gotten something he'd said to her long ago tattooed permanently on her body was nothing short of unbelievable for him.

"Why, Khushi?" Arnav asked squarely. He apologized to her in his mind and went on. "I would have thought it was something related to NK...unless of course, you have answers to the questions I asked..."

That did it for Khushi. Her nervousness roared and immediately formed a shield of anger.

"Who the hell do you think you are? Why should I answer your questions?!" Khushi shoved at his chest and his arms slipped away from her. "Let me go! You can't keep touching me and holding me the way you please, Arnav...I'm not one of your girl toys."

His eyes flashed dangerously at her jab but she went on as if she hadn't seen it.

"Stay away from me... ...you need to keep in mind that I'm engaged to someone else...know your limits and stay within them." Khushi pointed a finger at him. "I'm engaged, do you understand?"

Arnav held her by the shoulder and walked briskly towards the wall, forcing her to take steps back until her back hit the wall.

"I know you're engaged...but I know it's just for the hell of it!" He spoke through clenched teeth. "Admit it Khushi...you're not engaged to him because you love him...it's clear that you don't. you don't react to a man the way you react to me when you're in love with someone else...and for your information...NK has admitted that he doesn't feel that way for you...and--" He paused when Khushi interrupted him.

"That's enough! Enough, Arnav!" Khushi spoke loudly. "This is all I've heard since you came back...this is all that's been exchanged in words between us...what I don't understand is why does it matter so much to you?! Why does it matter so much whether he loves me or not?! Why does it bother you so much that I'm engaged to him?"

"That's a minor and unimportant detail...what matters to me is whether or not you're in love with him." He responded flatly.

"WHY?!" Khushi spoke in a fierce whisper. This behavior of his was taking its toll on her and she wanted her answers. She wanted them now. She fixed him with a stubborn glare. "Kya farak padta hai Arnav?"

"Farak Padta hai dammit! I want to know...no, I need to know whether or not you still have feelings for me." Arnav spoke calmly, bringing his face closer to hers.

Khushi felt her heart stutter dangerously as she registered his words. Still have feelings for me...Still?

Did that mean that he knew how she felt about him all along for all these years? An alarm blared in her head in warning, telling her to save herself from a pending heartbreak. So she did the first thing she could think of. She lied.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't you?" Arnav countered without missing a beat. "Are you denying that you had feelings for me for years, Khushi?"

The panic rose in a tsunami-like wave in Khushi's heart again. "I...I don't know what you're talking about, Arnav!"

She tried pushing him off of her to get away but he didn't relent. She needed to get away from him before his probing made her blurt out the truth!

"Stop pushing me away Khush..." He pleaded in a stern voice. "You know in your heart that you don't want to...you're freaking out because now you know that I know the truth..."

"You're mistaken." She drew her face blank and shuttered her eyes expertly owing to the years of practice but Arnav wasn't fooled this time. Khushi continued staring at him with more confidence than she felt. "I'm just trying to get away from you before we end up in an ugly argument...and I'm telling you again...I don't know what you're talking about."

Without another word to her, Arnav pushed himself off the wall, away from her, and grabbed her wrist. Khushi, though she knew she should protest, couldn't. She followed him meekly, holding the pleats of her saree in one hand, as he led her through the dimly lit living room.

She twisted her hand to try to free herself, but he only tightened his grip around her wrist more, climbing two steps at a time towards his bedroom while Khushi practically ran to keep up with him. He didn't utter a single word even as he threw open his bedroom door. Without pausing, he led her into the room unceremoniously and kicked the door shut behind him.

He finally left her hand, leaving her standing in the middle of the room while he stalked to his closet. Khushi was too focused on him, on what he was doing, to notice their pictures on the wall. Most were of her and him while a few were of the entire group. But Khushi saw none of them as he eyes fleeted between him and the door. A dead end and an escape...

She found herself unable to move when she heard the beeps of the keypads on the safe in his closet. Her eyebrows etched into a frown from the confusion, while her good hand massaged the wrist that he had gripped too tightly a few seconds ago.

What on earth is he doing?!

Arnav, on the other hand, opened the safe, slammed it shut a second later, and another second later, stalked over to her. Her eyes zeroed in on the object in his hand. Everything in her vision blurred except for that one thing which he held up for her to see clearly.

"Do you know what I'm talking about now?" He spoke with finality, knowing that he'd won this battle.

Khushi's breath hitched and heart raced once again as her mind truly registered the meaning of all this. This is why he was questioning her.

Of course it had taken her no more than a second to recognize the object in his hand...how could she not recognize it?

It had been her companion through heartbreaking times, through sad days, through angry fits. After Arnav, it was her second best friend in many ways...her outlet to vent out her frustrations without being worried that it would tell anyone...

Her Diary!

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