Chapter 13: Awkward With a Capital 'A'

I'll leave the music pick to you guys.  But I debated between these three songs for ArHi's slow dance and I couldnt pick one to post...so I'm posting all three!  But my personal fav for their situation is linked as a youtube video in the beginning of the chapter.

Heart's Content:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJdkEpSYEBM

There are the Moments:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLki_8q-LLA

*Blue = Arnav's inner monologue/thoughts*

*Pink = Khushi's inner monologue/thoughts*

Arnav and Khushi moved in synchronization with each other and with the music.  Arnav looked at her nervously, while she looked back at him oozing confidence.  It wasn’t typical that Arnav Singh Raizada felt nervous but the woman in front of him seemed to be looking through him with her intense gaze.

In some distant part of his mind, he was still sorely aware that he hadn’t said a word to her.  He was sure that she noticed this too.  How could she not?  Who doesn’t notice it when someone goes all quiet around you?  And the way she was looking at him right, he knew that she was waiting for him to say something.  It was almost as if she was trying to read his mind to see why he wasn’t saying anything, or rather what he couldn’t say.

She studied him keenly.  Up close, she noticed that he hadn’t changed that much.  The same face, the same haircut, the same complexion.  The only two changes were the tired and sad eyes, and the absent smile.  His hand on her back was exceptionally warm.  She felt as if he would burn her skin where he touched her.  His questioning yet distant glance was making her jittery.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”  She said at last, unable to take the awkward silence.

“Like what?”  Arnav blurted and then cursed himself.

Like what.  Like what?!?  You meet your best friend...the woman you love...after three long years and the first words you say to her are ‘like what?’  Kill yourself Raizada.

“Like...like you’re trying to see someone else instead of me.”  She answered back.

The corners of his lips lifted into a small smile.

Did someone nudge me on my sternum or was that my heart trying to jump out?  Khushi swallowed.

“Maybe because I am...”  He paused.  “You’ve changed, quite a lot.”

“You’re the one to talk!”  Khushi raised an eyebrow challengingly.  “Mr. Arnav Singh Raizada, the sharp, ruthless businessman, known for his arrogance and temper?”

Arnav’s jaw clenched minutely and Khushi regretted her words for a second.  Arnav knew what changes had come forth in his personality.  He wasn’t particularly proud of the fact but he couldn’t help it.  There was too much frustration and anger within him and it had to be directed towards something or someone.

“Khushi...I was talking about the way you dress and carry yourself.”  Arnav dismissed her comment.  “I mean...the last time I saw you in an evening gown was at prom.”

Khushi shrugged.  “I guess the old wardrobe got lost somewhere along the line when I was trying to at least look like a doctor.  Can’t really be going out there to treat patients in sweats now, can I?”

“And the butterfly tattoo?  I thought medical professionals frown upon tattooed colleagues.”  Arnav stated non-chalantly but secretly wondering why she had gotten it.  The anchor tattoo on her hand was to represent his and her friendship...the butterfly tattoo......it couldn’t have anything to do with NK, could it?

Khushi gave him a smile and he swallowed to keep his throat from constricting.  Her smile still did wonders to him.  It was like a bright ray of sunshine on a gloomy day.

“I got it after my first week at medical school.  Remember how Bauji used to call me ‘titaliyaa’?”  Khushi chuckled.  “I’d finally begun my journey to the dream that he’d seen for me...so I got a tattoo as a symbol of that beginning...”

Arnav visibly relaxed, making Khushi wonder why the sudden change in his posture.  Her mind instantly tried to form the reasons he must have come up with for her tattoo.

“And...I think it’s just a stereotype....”  Khushi shrugged gently.  “The whole deal with doctors with tattoos...in any case...my tattoos are concealed, so it doesn’t matter.”

Tattoos?  Plural?  But the anchor on her hand isn’t concealed....  Arnav’s brows knit together in confusion.

“The one on your hand is visible.”  He blurted out his thought.

“That’s the only one that’s not hidden...all the others are...and most of the time, we have gloves on anyway...” she said as if it’s the most obvious fact in the world.

“All others?”  Arnav stopped moving and raised an eyebrow.  Exactly, how many did she have??

Khushi squinted at him.  Surely, one of the other four friends of theirs would have mentioned things to him...why was he acting so aloof?  He was questioning as if trying to verify whether or not she was the same Khushi he knew.  So she had changed a little but so had he!!  Why the hell was he making things weirder than they already were?

Calm down Khushi.  Calm down.  Deep breath in...And breathe out.  Think of your happy place.  You’re in a dance studio.  You’re rehearsing for your performance.  There’s a plate of jalebi and a can of coke sitting on the table for you after.  Your exams are done and it’s a beautiful day outside!  Life is good.

“Including the one we got together...I have five...”  Khushi started moving again, breaking him out of his frozen state.  This whole conversation was so damned ridiculous! 

“I can’t believe that of all the things we could talk about, you’re focusing on tattoos...I mean...I’m sure you have interesting stories for me from the fashion world...”  She wiggled her eyebrows.

Arnav smile widened a tad bit.  “You’ve picked up an accent...”  He said, finding a topic to jump to, eager to learn more about her and the changes in her from the last three years.  The more she talked, the more obvious her newly adapted accent became.  He has heard this before...where?

“I know...”  Khushi chuckled.  “Payal and Anjali mentioned it...”

“I’ve heard it before but I can’t place a finger on it...”  He admitted after a few seconds of deliberation.

Khushi scoffed and looked irritated as she held his gaze.  “Really Arnav...were you always this....this...stupid?  I mean...isn’t it obvious what accent it is considering where I’ve been for the past three years?”  She was, indeed, getting irritated now.

“I don’t know where you were.”  He bit out, taking her by surprise.  Unreasonable, he knew.  She wasn’t blaming him or anything.  His was just his frustration at himself getting the better of him.

This time, Khushi stopped moving and looked at him with widened eyes.  “What?”

Arnav dragged in a deep breath.  “I don’t know where you were all these years...Di and them never told me and I never asked.  So no...I can’t tell what accent you’ve picked up.  Maybe I have always been this stupid because I can’t seem to figure things that are fairly obvious but apparently I can’t help that.  So if you would please excuse my inability to recall a freaking accent.”  He said in one breath, sounding a lot like ASR than Arnav.

He closed his eyes and willed himself to calm down. 

FUCK!!  WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!  He reprimanded himself mentally.

He can’t be channelling his bottled up frustration and anger at her.  It wasn’t her fault.  Yes, they desperately needed to talk things out but this was hardly the place or the time for it.  He could feel her eyes on him and he could tell that she was still surprised. By the new information or by his tone and anger...he didn’t know.

He looked at her, apologetic for his slip of control over his temper.  “I’m sorry...I didn’t mean to be rude...”  He smiled awkwardly at her.  “I just proved the media right again about my temper, didn’t I?”

Khushi forced a smile and started moving to the beat again.  She lowered her eyes to the floor for a couple of seconds before looking back up at him.  She took a deep breath in and sighed.  The only way to make this easier was to keep talking because clearly, silence only amplified the tension.

“The accent is Australian.”  She said in a small voice.  “I’ve been in Sydney for the past three years...”

You would have known if you had replied to my damned emails!!  She wanted to scream but she held herself in time. 

She was here for Anjali and Rohan’s wedding.  She wasn’t going to create any scenes, especially tonight.  She would find another appropriate time to demand answers from him and to answer his questions, which she knew he had.  She could see the wheels turning in his head, producing question after question.  She was dreading this conversation with him...whenever it happened...it was not going to be easy.

“You haven’t picked up the Indian accent though.”  Khushi changed the topic awkwardly, trying to put the spotlight on him instead of herself.

Arnav looked amused at her statement.  “I travel a lot...meetings and conferences.” 

Silence befell them then.  Khushi scanned the crowd for NK and saw him dancing with the girl Anjali had introduced earlier as Lavanya.  She continued to look around, trying her best to ignore looking at Arnav because for the life of her, she couldn’t come up with something more to say.  Her treacherous eyes moved back to his face, however, when they didn’t find purchase on anything interesting.

It was futile to try and avoid the elephant in the room.  Maybe talking about it will help?

Damn, I need a coke...or Jalebi...Khushi sighed internally.

“I never thought things would be so awkward between us.”  Her voice was barely above a whisper as she finally addressed the obvious tension albeit reluctantly.  What if he wasn’t feeling awkward?  What if it was just her??

His expression became sad, his eyes weary and guilty.  “So you noticed it too?  I thought I was imagining things.”

“It's too obvious to ignore or imagine, Arnav.”

A few seconds passed as they searched each other’s face for some hint or something...anything that could help ease things between them.

“What happened to us?”  He asked painfully.  The question was eating away at him and he just had to put it out there.  Maybe she knew the answer. Maybe she could put him out of his misery for a few seconds.

Khushi, however, felt a wave of anger build up.  She hated being unaware of things, she hated being blindsided...and that’s exactly how she felt right now.  She was given bits of information by the others through emails but there wasn’t much to put together to complete the puzzle.  The puzzle of what happened with them, what happened to Arnav.  And he was asking her what happened after he was the one who started playing the whole ignoring games and aloofness and lying and betraying??

“You tell me, Arnav!” She shot bluntly.  “What the fuck happened?”  She didn’t sound ladylike at all, but she could give a flying monkey’s ass at the moment.

Arnav looked at her for a few long seconds, taken aback.  He was expecting the questions, of course.  He knew she would ask eventually.  He didn’t expect it to be so soon, though.  He hadn’t even had a chance to plan out how or how much to tell her.  Where exactly to begin?  Should he ask his questions first?

Neither had to say anything further, however, because Akash poked his cousin in the back, grinning foolishly.

“No hogging the lady...”  Akash winked at an annoyed Arnav and held out his hand for Khushi.  “May I mademoiselle?”

Arnav threw Akash a dirty look while Akash looked back at him sheepishly.  Khushi’s eyebrows rose a little higher on her forehead as she watched the two brothers amusedly.  Well, there was something that she hadn’t expected.  Akash looking almost scared of his cousin brother??  Khushi had the feeling that if she accepted Akash’s offer, Arnav would get angry.  She didn’t want to be the reason for a brawl between two brothers!

Luck came to Khushi’s aid and the soft song faded out, giving way to another techno track.  Within seconds, the dance floor was trembling with the vigorous steps of various individuals.  Anjali, Rohan, and Payal joined Arnav, Khushi, and Akash.  Arnav and Akash were still staring at each other, one angry and the other sheepish, when NK and Lavanya joined the group.

Akash’s audacity to try and take away Khushi from Arnav was forgotten immediately as Arnav’s eyes zeroed in on NK’s hand on Khushi’s back.  Exactly where his own hand was moments before Akash had interrupted.  Arnav’s hands clenched into fists and his jaw clenched tightly.

Anger bubbled up in him once again and without a word to anyone, he walked away, joining Aman at the bar.  He held on to his glass of ‘Manhattan’ tighter than necessary, threatening to shatter the crystal.  If his knuckles were protesting, it was nothing compared to the effort the glass was putting in to not shatter in the hands of this man.

The more frustrating part was that he didn’t know what exactly he was angry at.  Himself for what he’d done to Khushi?  At that bitch who was the reason behind their fight before she left?  At Akash for interrupting their conversation?  At NK for keeping his hands on Khushi more than necessary?  At Khushi for being alright with NK touching her?  Or at Khushi for being perfectly herself after these years whereas he had turned into an angry blob of mass?

“Easy on that ASR, you’ll hurt yourself.”  Aman tried to pry the glass out of Arnav’s hand.

Arnav’s hearing senses were on a hike while his visual senses were working over-time.  He was keenly observing Khushi and a certain Nakul Kohli.  Every time he saw them, an uneasy feeling nagged at him, as if trying to point something out.  Only...he couldn’t.  He’d already grown tired of seeing that man with his Khushi.  He didn’t want to dwell too much on what their relationship was.  Khushi had said he was a friend.

At that precise moment, the man in question, NK, walked up to the bar counter and slid in the little gap between some woman and Arnav.

“Hey...a Jack Rose cocktail, please.”  NK smiled kindly at the bartender.

Arnav snorted.  Jack Rose cocktail??  What are you?  A twenty year old girl?  Might as well order a damn pina colada. Arnav smirked triumphantly at the feeble excuse of an insult.  The things jealousy makes you do.

The rude sound caught NK’s attention but his expression turned friendly when he saw Arnav.

“Oh hey!  How come you’re sitting here?  Aren’t all your friends on the floor?”  NK acknowledged Arnav with a friendly thump on the shoulder.

Arnav’s head snapped around to look at that insolent man’s offending hand on his shoulder.  He willed his eyes to spew fire and reduce the man’s hand to cinders but it didn’t work.  That irritated him even more.

“I don’t dance.”  Arnav spat coldly, shoving NK’s hand off of his shoulder as gently as he could manage.

NK twitched his lips, half in annoyance, and half in amusement.  Arnav’s irritability amused him but his hostility towards him, NK felt annoyed about.  What the hell was that about, anyway?  Why Arnav seemed to obviously dislike him, was beyond NK.  Of course, NK hadn’t missed Arnav’s insulting snort when he had ordered the drink, but he wasn’t going to go there.  He wasn’t going to comment on it.  He had only met these people today and it wasn’t prudent to get in the bad books of any of Khushi’s friends.  He would be the better man here and continue to be friendly towards this jerk called Arnav Singh Raizada.

Arnav raised his hand up to run it through his hair in a frustrated gesture when NK’s eyes landed on the anchor tattoo on the man’s hand.  Never mind.  Change of plans.  If Arnav was going to get on NK’s nerves, then NK would do the same.

“Not even for your best friend?”  NK smirked.

Arnav looked at him, clearly surprised.  NK jerked his chin towards Arnav’s hand which now rested on the bar counter.

“Khushi told me the story behind the tattoo.”  NK explained with a shrug.

“Seems like she has talked about me quite a lot.”  A smug expression settled on Arnav’s face.

Ha! Raizada-1, Kohli- 0.  Arnav smirked to himself.

“Not really...Just when I asked about the tattoo and every now and then your name slips in the conversations about your pranks and stuff.”  NK looked over his shoulder and glanced at the group of people that surrounded Khushi.

“You said you don’t dance?”  NK looked at Arnav challengingly.  “But you were dancing with Khushi a few minutes ago.”  NK chuckled.

“I was trying to get a few moments with her to catch up.  That’s it.”  Arnav’s eyes flashed.

 How dare he question me about what I do or don’t do?

“Oh.  Yeah...”  NK looked thoughtfully at Khushi and then back at Arnav, who held his gaze with the confidence of ASR.  “You two have a lot to catch up about.”

Arnav frowned.  What the hell is that supposed to mean??

“What do you mean?”  Arnav blurted.  Something about NK’s statement had touched a sore spot and there was no stopping his queries anymore.  It had suddenly made Arnav very restless.  Something about the way NK said it...something about the tone...something that was like a splinter under his skin.  He hated it.

“I told you I’ll get my drink, NK...”  Khushi walked up to them, interrupting the conversation.

Moments ago, Khushi had seen NK and Arnav at the bar, talking.  She’d nearly had a heart attack then.  Here she was trying to keep NK out of the lion’s mouth but no...NK was willingly trying to get himself killed.  She had rushed over to interrupt their conversation as soon as possible, mainly because Arnav looked like he was ready to break NK’s jaw!  With NK’s unfiltered chatter and Arnav’s impatience and dislike for him, the outcomes of a “conversation” between the two would definitely be disastrous.

“I just thought I’d order it for you...it should be ready any minute.”  NK smiled widely and moved a little to his side so that Khushi could take her spot between the men, acting as a barrier.

As if on cue, the bartender slid the drink towards NK, who in turn pushed to towards Khushi.  Arnav felt like an idiot now.  So he had ordered the drink for Khushi...great.  and here he was, forming stupid insults in his mind because NK had ordered what’s known as a feminine drink. 

You’re ridiculously stupid, Raizada.  If not your age, at least act like the freaking businessman you are!  Why give this man so much importance?  Focus on Khushi.  Khushi.  Your Khushi.  Focus, Raizada, Focus Dammit!

Khushi sipped on her cocktail quietly and slowly, buying herself time, trying to delay the moment where she would have to say something.  None of them spoke and Aman, who had been a silent spectator to NK and Arnav’s word exchange, just looked at them as if waiting for an explosion.  Seeing the expression on Arnav’s face, it couldn’t be far away. 

Never in her life had Khushi been in such an awkward position.

Get used to it Khushi...it’s about to get worse.  A sigh escaped her involuntarily and both men turned their heads to look at her.  She shook her head sideways in response to their questioning gaze.  She just wanted this evening to be over.  She wanted some alone time, some distance from Arnav, some distance from NK, some distance between NK and Arnav, and above all, a good night’s sleep.

NK shifted from one foot to the other, visibly uncomfortable.  He hated being in awkward situations and this was Awkwardness personified.  Besides, he didn’t know what the hell the matter with this Arnav character was but the man was freaking strange.

“I’m just...gonna make a call...yeah...I’ll make a call!”  NK excused himself, leaving Arnav and Khushi standing with Aman, who was still observing slyly, trying to make sure Arnav didn’t catch him.

“She looks so happy...”  Khushi noted genuinely as she observed at Anjali dancing and laughing wholeheartedly.  The way she looked at Rohan with pure love and joy made Khushi’s heart clench in longing.

Arnav followed her gaze and couldn’t help but smile.  “Yeah...she’s happier now that you’re here though...I know she hid it well but she was pretty upset until you showed up.”

“I wouldn’t have missed her wedding for anything...I promised them I’d be with them through every ritual.” Khushi looked at him and smiled.  Arnav gave her a genuine smile as well.  The smile faded as soon as a familiar voice reached his ears.

“Hey baby...”  Lavanya drawled as she walked up to them at the bar.  “Come...dance with me.”

“Enough Lavanya.  Stop irritating me.”  Arnav looked at her disapprovingly.  The last thing he needed was for Khushi to think that him and Lavanya were involved in any manner.

“Ouch...that’s not very gentleman-like.”  Khushi chuckled.   She liked Lavanya.  The woman was friendly and, just like Khushi, loved to talk.  A lot!

“Right?  You would think that for someone who’s so popular in the fashion world, he would have better social skills.”  Lavanya winked at him, irritating him further.

“Maybe my presence is putting him off...”  Khushi rolled her tongue into her cheek and placed her glass back on the counter.  “I’ll catch you guys later.”  Khushi winked at Lavanya, and before Arnav could even form a reply, Khushi was gliding away and into the crowd.

Now, what the hell is that supposed to mean???  People have got to stop dropping these cryptic little sentences around me and then walking away! Arnav fumed.

*

The rest of the evening, Khushi had spent trying to keep NK and Arnav as far away as possible.  The last thing she needed right now was a brawl.  She couldn’t have been more glad when the party ended and they filed out of the hall and into the limo that would drive them to the airport. 

Arnav kept himself busy on the phone; however, his ears were set entirely on the loud conversation going on in the car.  He had gathered from the conversation that NK and Khushi were classmates and colleagues.  Apart from studying together, they were students at some dance school.  Right now, they were talking about some funny incident that happened during a practice.

They reached the airport and pulled out their respective bags which contained a change of clothes.  Khushi pulled out her small duffle bag as well, making Anjali click her tongue in annoyance.

“Dad has planned this so thoroughly...I mean...you have a change of clothes and everything!  I’m so annoyed with him!”  She whined, making everyone else roll their eyes.

Khushi tugged at Rohan’s elbow and gestured him to slow down as everyone made their way into the building.

“Can you make sure Arnav and NK stay as far apart as possible while I’m gone?”  Khushi muttered.

Rohan sniggered in an attempt to control a laugh.  “So you noticed it too?  I’ve been worried about Arnav all evening...”

“Yeah, me too...but I’m worried about NK more than Arnav...I mean, let’s be realistic...chances of NK getting hurt are higher.  That lad governor can be so unpredictable!”  Khushi sighed defeatedly.  “I need a coke.”

“I’m sure there’s some on the jet, Khushi...and don’t worry...I’ll keep them away from each other...just...hurry up, will you?”  Rohan glanced nervously at Arnav.

Khushi understood.  No matter how much one tried, once Arnav lost his temper, no one could control him.  She used to be able to, but whether or not she’ll have that skill now, she didn’t know.  NK didn’t like violence and so he wasn’t likely to start anything but he couldn’t control his chatter.  And his chatter would definitely annoy Arnav to a dangerous extent.

“I’ll be back before you know it.”  Khushi smiled at Rohan gratefully and sped up to catch up with Anjali, Payal, and Lavanya.