Chapter 14: Glimpses of The Tom-Boy

Once in the washroom, all hell broke loose as the ladies tried to change in the small space, Anjali being dramatic as usual.  Khushi had pulled herself out of the gown and into a pair of black shorts and tan sleeveless top.  She stood in front of the mirror fighting with the bobby pins in her hair when Anjali and Payal tumbled out of their respective cubicles.  All three of them now stood lined up in front of the mirror, undoing their hairstyles.  Khushi looked mortified when Anjali pulled out her make-up box.

“For the love of God Anjali...it’s three in the morning!  Why do you need to redo your make up?!”  She exclaimed.

“My finace is on the plane with me!!  I have to look my best!!”  Anjali was hysterical as she tried to fix her eye shadow.

Lavanya walked out of her cubicle less than gracefully, tripping over nothing at all.  Accidentally, she pushed Anjali, causing her to smudge her eye shadow further.

Everything froze for a few seconds, Lavanya looking scared, Anjali looking shocked, and Payal seemed weary.  Khushi looked between the three of them, shook her head and went back to wiping her face free of the make-up with a wipe.  She nearly poked herself in the eye when Anjali let out a screech.

“La!!!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!!”  Lavanya said in a rushed tone, fumbling around for a wipe.

“Here...take this...it doesn’t look too bad...”  Payal tried to help.

Khushi stood transfixed in her spot as the three women bickered and argued like teenage girls freaking out over getting ready for prom.  Having had enough of the yelps and screeches and high pitched sounds, Khushi made a circle with her index finger and thumb, and used it let out a loud whistle.

“Before I go deaf...Lavanya, take my spot here...Anjali, stop fussing...Ro has seen you without make up countless times and Payal...finish what you have to and make sure these two don’t fight.”  Khushi reprimanded them. 

This was why she didn’t get along with most women.  Stupid arguments over useless things.  Sure, she had adapted to a new dressing style and had even started using light make up but at heart she was still less girly than normal.  Today, in one evening, she’d had too much girly-ness to handle.  She grabbed her duffle bag and turned to walk out of the washroom when suddenly, she burst into chuckles.

The weirdness and stupidity of the situation had Khushi laughing out loud as Anjali, Payal, and Lavanya also joined in slowly, realizing why they’d been fighting in the first place.

They were still giggling and laughing when they stepped out of the washroom.  As the laughter echoed louder than any of the others, Arnav’s head snapped around to look at her.  Akash, Rohan, and NK also followed his gaze and found themselves getting lost in their respective women.

“What’s so funny?”  Rohan raised an eyebrow as he slid his arm around Anjali’s waist.

“Girl things.”  Lavanya waved him off.

Khushi shook her head.  “I thought I was going to go deaf...”

“You will...in time.  Considering how much you crank up the volume on your iPod...you’re bound to go deaf sooner than most people.”  NK stated in a parental tone.

Khushi shot him a dirty look as they started making their way out towards the awaiting jet.  As she turned to follow the rest of them, she caught Arnav staring at them woefully.  It took everything in her power to not sigh out loud.  All of them started chatting in their own little sub groups as they made their way to the plane.

“He doesn’t like me, does he?”  NK questioned with a chuckle.

Khushi looked at him apologetically.  “He takes time warming up to people...I’m sorry on his behalf if he’s rude...”

NK shrugged.  “It doesn’t matter...everyone else seems cool with me so it’s easy to ignore him...”

“I wish I could say the same.  I was the closest to him and now...things are so bloody awkward...”  Khushi sighed and looked at NK with a worried expression.  “I need him to be calm and collected...”

“Have you told any of them?”  NK dropped his voice to just above a whisper.

“No...I won’t say anything until after Anjali’s engagement...”

“Am I interrupting?”  Arnav said tightly, scowling at the whispering duo.

Khushi nearly jumped out of her skin at the suddenness of his voice.  She hadn’t realized that he had slowed down to wait for them to catch up.  “Uh...hey...um...no...You’re not interrupting.”

“Can I have a word?”  He addressed Khushi with a nod, ignoring NK’s presence.  Taking the obvious clue, NK excused himself and walked ahead to join the group as they made their way up the stairs, into the plane.

“What’s up?”  Khushi gave him a friendly smile, trying to mask her nervousness.

Arnav slowed down a bit more in their stride and Khushi automatically matched his step. 

“We need to talk...”  Arnav said seriously.

Khushi let out a small humourless laugh.  “Yeah...we do.”  She jerked her head and tossed her curled hair over her shoulder.  She was glad that he was the one who had brought up the topic because for the life of her, she didn’t know how to approach him about it.

Arnav looked at the floor as they walked slowly and quietly towards the staircase which was now empty.  Everyone had already gone into the plane.  With their slowed steps, Arnav’s eyes fell on her feet and he saw a glimpse of black on her pale skin.

The other tattoo.  It seemed to be some kind of quote that he couldn’t make out in the dim lighting.  He stopped at the base of the stairs and looked at her.

“I’d prefer if we could talk alone...”  Arnav paused for a response and she nodded in agreement.

“Look...it’s already awkward between us...let’s not have this conversation before Anjali’s engagement...we’ll talk after that.”  Khushi suggested.

Arnav thought for a minute.  He admitted that he wanted to talk to her as soon as possible and that he didn’t really want to wait until after Anjali’s engagement but Khushi did have a point.  The outcome of their talk was very unpredictable simply because the reactions could not be assumed.  He didn’t know how she would react to everything he had to say to her.  It was best that they put off this conversation until after Anjali’s engagement, lest the conversation take a downhill path rather than the one he was hoping for.

“And until then...can we at least try to be our normal selves with each other?  I’m tired of stepping on eggshells around you...it doesn’t feel right.”  Khushi pouted.

Arnav let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and a smile broke through the worry on his face.  Chuckling, he held up a hand solemnly.  “Scout’s honour.”

Khushi grinned at him and the two stood looking at each other for a few seconds until Arnav waved his hand in front of him, gesturing her to ascend the stairs.

“After you, Khush.”

Khushi’s heart skipped a beat.  Khush.  How she had missed hearing that from his mouth!  Smiling to herself, and feeling lighter than she had in three years, she walked up the stairs with him following closely. 

Khushi stepped into the aircraft and halted abruptly at the sight in front of her.  She was expecting rows of comfortable seats, just like the business class of commercial planes.  She was not expecting a freaking living room.  There were no plane seats here but there were couches, lounge chairs, coffee tables with flower arrangements atop them.  If someone was given a picture of this place, their last guess would be that it’s a private jet—considering that the plane windows were excluded.  What the hell?!

*Image credit: Google*

Absent minded and still observing her surroundings in surprise, Khushi walked in and took a seat next to NK on one of the couches.  She was brought out of her admiration of the aircraft when Arnav sat next to her.  Once again, she had found herself between NK and Arnav.  Perfect.

Once the plane had taken off the runway and began its smooth fly towards Rajasthan, Khushi looked at Akash and answered his query about whether or not she wanted any refreshments.  She turned back to see that NK and Lavanya seemed to be just as stumped with the interiors of the plane as she had been.

“Seriously Anjali...do you plan on living in air or something?”  Lavanya questioned.

Payal and Khushi exchanged a teasing look before focusing it on Anjali.  “Something like that.”  Khushi winked, making Anjali’s jaw drop.

Of course she was referring to Anjali’s little fantasy that she had told them about.  She warned them with her eyes to keep their traps shut.

“It’s not my plane...it’s Arnav’s.”  Anjali rolled her eyes.

“If anyone wants refreshments, feel free to go through the fridge.”  Akash announced as he tossed Khushi a bottle of coke and handed a bottle of water to Payal.

Khushi opened the bottle and took a long swig, while Arnav observed her with amusement.

“I thought you hated soda drinks...”  Arnav stated.

NK gasped dramatically and leaned forward to look at him.  “Khushi hating Soda drinks?  That’s blasphemous!  That simply does not go!  She probably has coke running through her veins instead of blood.”

Khushi slapped NK’s arm, annoyed.  “I don’t drink that much coke...”

NK raised her eyebrows.  “Khushi...you go through a pack of 24 in a week...AT LEAST!”

Khushi flipped him the bird and took another long swig from her can, making Arnav chuckle.

“Well, look...there’s something that hasn’t changed...Khushi still swears and makes rude gestures...”  Rohan said as he draped an arm around Anjali’s shoulder and pulled her closer.

“You guys make it sound like I’ve come back as an alien...I haven’t changed that much...”  Khushi argued, frowning particularly at Rohan.

Everyone got engaged in small talk from that point on, including Arnav.  He, however, still tried to keep his exchange with NK to a bare minimum.  His priority right now was getting as close to the normal relationship he’d shared with Khushi.  He tried his best to keep his attention focused on whatever she was saying, learning new things about her, searching for glimpses of the old Khushi, and secretly celebrating when he did see one.  He figured out that when he focused his attention on Khushi, ignoring NK became easier.

If only ignoring Lavanya was that easy.  Arnav had the urge to punch something, preferably NK’s jaw, when the woman in question came and squeezed herself between the small gap between Khushi and himself.  She began her usual flirty comments and Arnav’s eyes constantly flickered to Khushi to see her reaction.  He didn’t know whether to be frustrated or relieved that she wasn’t paying attention.

Anjali observed the quad in front of her amusedly.  Lavanya-Arnav and Khushi-NK.  Anjali wanted to sigh out loud.  There was obvious tension between three of them and from what Anjali could decipher, Lavanya wasn’t helping matters.  Would things have been different if she and Payal hadn’t manipulated with their e-mail accounts?  Anjali didn’t even want to begin thinking about what would happen when Arnav and Khushi found out.  She knew it won’t be too long before they figured out that they’d been e-mailing each other through the years...It was only a matter of time before one questioned the other about the lack of correspondence...should she and Payal speak to them before they figured it out?  Would it warrant less anger?  Anjali knew the answer to that, crystal clear.  No.  Regardless of when and how they found out, they would be just as angry.

Anjali broke out of her chain of thoughts when someone called out to her.  She looked at Lavanya and raised her eyebrows.  “What?”

“Khushi and NK want to help out with the dances for your engagement.”  Lavanya looked excited about the idea.

“You’re going to dance?”  Anjali looked at Khushi.

“No...I’ll just help with the steps for Payal and Akash’s routine...as well as Arnav and Lavanya’s.”  Khushi said in a no-nonsense tone.

“I don’t want to dance.”  Arnav said frustratedly.  And definitely not with Lavanya Kashyap.

Anjali looked at him with a sad expression.  “You can’t even do that much for your sister?”

“Don’t get started with me about that...”  Arnav warned, lifting his index finger in a warning.

Whether on purpose or not, no one was sure, but Khushi yawned, interrupting the argument before it started.

“Sorry...I’ve slept no more than two hours in the last 48 hours...”  Khushi admitted sheepishly.

“How are you still functioning?”  Payal said, truly impressed.  Payal couldn’t be herself without her regular seven hours of sleep every night.

“Medical school prepares you for stressful and sleepless days.”  NK shrugged, answering on Khushi’s behalf.

“There’s a bed in the back if you want to take a nap.”  Akash tilted his head in the direction of the tail of the airborne plane.

“I don’t appreciate you trying to make fun of me...”  Khushi narrowed her eyes at him while the others laughed.

“Uh...he’s not....there is actually a bed in the back.”  Arnav said bemusedly.

Khushi’s lips formed the classic ‘O’, and the sight tugged at Arnav’s heart.  A weird sense of urgency gripped him then.  All of this was utterly wrong.  It didn’t feel natural.  She was too far.  He needed her closer to him...emotionally, and obviously, physically.  All these old feelings and urges were coming back to him in full swing, as if there hadn’t been a gap of few years between them.

“No way!”  Khushi gasped.  “Get out!”

Arnav raised his eyebrows, his amusement growing, and he stifled a chuckle at her adorably surprised expression.  “I’m afraid I can’t...I don’t want to plummet to my death, you see...but I can show you where the bed is if you want to sleep until we land...”

Khushi nodded and Arnav led her towards the tail end of the plane, aware that Lavanya and NK were also intrigued enough to follow them.  Arnav wanted to groan in frustration.  What did a man have to do to get some alone time with a lady??

A certain memory flashed through his mind at his choice of a particular word:  Lady.

“It’s rude not to ask a beautiful lady for a dance when she’s getting bored, Arnav.”

“Which lady?” 

“You fool! I’m talking about Khushi.”

“Lady??  Her?  No way!  She’s my little Miss Tom Boy.”

Arnav shook his head, a small smile appearing on his lips.  The stupid things he’d done and said to mask his feelings seemed more and more pathetic the more he thought of them.

Eat your words, Raizada.

She was, indeed, a lady and a downright beautiful one at that.  And despite that, a part of him longed to see his Khush.  He was seeing glimpses of her right now, when Khushi made a smart Alec comment or when she showed someone the offending finger, or when she laughed openly.  She was dressed in a plain tank top and shorts, not exactly girly but not along the lines of a tom-boy either.

If only he could spend some time alone with her.

What did he exactly intend to do with her alone, anyway?  It’s not like they were going to talk about everything that had gone wrong.  They had decided to wait until after Anjali’s engagement.  And until they did that, he couldn’t discuss his feelings with her, he knew.  So why did he want her alone with him?  He didn’t know.

When gasps escaped the mouths of the people in his company, he realized that they had reached where they wanted to and he particularly looked at Khushi to see her reaction.  He then glanced at NK and Lavanya and saw that Khushi was the least impressed of the three.  Typical Khushi...not too intrigued by materialistic things.  Her surprise was stemmed from the simple fact of the ridiculousness of a bed on a plane.  Not the luxury of it, not the stench of money that reeked from every object in this plane...none of that.

 *Image credit: Google*

While NK and Lavanya were busy with Ooh’s and Ahh’s, Khushi turned to look at him.  “You’ve outdone yourself with this plane, Arnav...”

Arnav shrugged.  “Like I said...I travel a lot and so does dad...when this jet went on sale, I bought it for him more than myself...the more comfortable, the easier for him to fly.”

“Seriously Khushi...we need to buy one like this...a decade from now...”  NK said seriously.

Arnav’s breath hitched, jaw clenched, and eyes narrowed.  We.  Why the hell was this man using ‘we’, referring to him and Khushi as one entity?  The nagging feeling was back.  The feeling he’d gotten at the party.  The feeling that was urging him to notice something, to observe a certain detail but he couldn’t place a finger on it.

Khushi’s free laughter diverted Arnav’s attention.

“I don’t see why either one of us would need one, NK.  We’ll be slaves of the scalpels for years to come.”  She said as she bent to look out of the small window.

Arnav didn’t like this ‘we’ business.  At all.  He looked at Khushi as she watched the small clusters of twinkles below them that were small towns and villages.  The nagging feeling left and his heart was engulfed in a blanket of serenity.  She was here.  She truly was.  He wondered whether he would wake up tomorrow thinking that it had been a dream.

He didn’t realize he was staring at Khushi until her movement made him blink out of his stupor.  She had bent her left leg to take off her strappy gladiator sandals when his eyes caught the dark ink against the milky paleness of her feet.

What the--!    Arnav’s mind jogged back to a recent memory.  As far as he could remember, he’d seen the writing on her right foot.  Maybe he was mistaken.  He squinted, trying to focus on the fine script.

Khushi caught him looking at her foot with utmost concentration and she followed his gaze.

“It says ‘Live. Laugh. Love’.”  Khushi answered the question that was lingering in his mind.

Arnav’s eyes snapped to her face, somewhat flustered at being caught.  “It has sort of become my life motto.”

*Imagine on Left Foot, Same Placement*

*Image credit: Google*

“And this one...”  Khushi turned her body so that the outer surface of her right foot was visible.  “This one says ‘Dance like no one is watching’...again something I follow quite closely...”

*Image credit: Google*

It wasn’t until Lavanya squealed in approval that he realized that they still had company. 

“That sounds like something I should get...but I’m afraid of how painful it would be...”  Lavanya eyed the elegant script on Khushi’s foot with an awestruck expression.

“It depends on where you get it...the pain level differs...for me, this anchor and the butterfly on my shoulder blade were the least painful...”  Khushi caressed the small anchor on her hand, making the tattoo on Arnav’s hand tingle, as if she was caressing the matching tattoo on his hand instead of her own.

Arnav was itching to ask where her last and fifth tattoo was.  Moreover, extremely curious about what it would say.  Would it be another quote?  Another symbolic picture?  Something random? 

His eyes involuntarily and quickly scanned her exposed arms and her legs and found no traces of any ink apart from her feet.  Arnav found himself frowning at the tattoos on her feet.  If he didn’t have a foot fetish before this night, her tattoos were to be blamed for this particular interest he was sure to develop in the near future.

Their conversation drifted back onto the topic of dance since it was something common that Lavanya, Khushi, and NK shared.  Arnav played the role of a silent listener as they made their way back to the others...the main reason for going to see the bed all but forgotten.

By the time their plane landed on the runway in Rajasthan, surrounded by a dull brightening of the pre-dawn sky, Arnav was extremely exhausted from lack of sleep, being overwhelmed at her presence, and being jealous of a certain Mr. Kohli.

The row of four SUVs which was there to pick them up was loaded with luggage and tired humans, who instantly fell asleep as the vehicles moved smoothly towards Sheesh Mahal.

*

Khushi sighed and closed her diary before leaning her head against the headboard and closing her eyes.  This wasn’t how things were supposed to go.  This wasn’t a part of the plan.  This wasn’t what she had prepared herself for, although, now that she thought about it, she probably should have.  She pinched the bridge of her nose as a headache started making an appearance—a result of lack of sleep, alcohol, and overwhelming feelings.  She opened her eyes tiredly and looked at the wall clock which showed that it was a few minutes past 3pm.

She had a blurred memory of filing out of the SUV and exchanging quick good night hugs with the group before following a housekeeper to the room, where she was to stay.  She had discarded her sandals, plopped down on the bed, and had immediately fallen asleep.  When she opened her eyes next, which was about half an hour ago, her heart had felt heavy and carried a dull ache that she had learned to ignore years ago.

She opened her diary, her only constant companion of these years, and read the new entry that she’d just penned down minutes ago.

I’m supposed to be stronger than this.  I’m not supposed to feel this way anymore.  It’s been three years, for the love of God!  I had made sure that I was ready to face him again then why is it going down the road I don’t want to journey along?  I hadn’t expected meeting him to be easy.

And I sure as hell hadn’t expected all these feelings to resurface with a force this strong.  It’s not fair.  It’s not fair that he’s an epitome of control while my heart goes up in flames at the mere sight of him.  I’m supposed to be over him then why is it that all I want to do is run to him, throw myself into his arms, and tell him...tell the world...tell them what exactly? 

It can’t possibly be that easy to fall in love all over again with the person who shattered your heart, the person who dated a horde of women before your very eyes, and the person who estranged you for three years.

Yet, it had happened in the matter of a moment.  The moment I saw him at the party, all the walls around my heart crumbled.  Every feeling, every emotion woke up again stronger than before.

 I know this will lead to heartbreaks.  It’s wrong to feel this way.  It’s wrong of me to put my heart through that torture again because it will be the same this time around too:

I will remain in love with him and he won’t fall in love with me...just like last time.

If only she knew how absolutely wrong she was. 

If only she knew that his heart had broken years ago just like hers had. 

If only she knew that she had been able to put her heart together and put up walls around it while his remained broken. 

If only she knew that he wouldn’t break her heart this time...but...

She would break his further.