Chapter 9: It's Not a Big Deal...or Is It?

**Text in this colour is Khushi's inner monologue**

"Are you feeling okay?"  Khushi placed the back of her hand on Arnav's forehead as if checking for a fever.

He raised his eyebrows at her, confused by her antics.  He felt fine as far as he could tell.  Where she had gotten the idea that he was unwell was beyond him.

"Yes...I'm fine...why?"

Khushi frowned at him and put her hands on her hips.  She could feel five pairs of eyes on her.  But she ignored all of them except for Arnav.

"It's been weeks since Erin, and you haven't brought home anyone else...I'm just making sure that you're not sick or something."  Khushi ended with a grin while the laughter of the other four occupants of the dining table echoed in the penthouse.

"Don't give him ideas, Khushi!"  Anjali reprimanded lovingly.  "I'm finally glad to see that my brother has decided to stop being a male s**t."

Khushi threw her head back and laughed openly at the term while Arnav just glared at the offending laughers. 

Khushi felt so much lighter.  It had been a month since the day she had confessed her feelings to Anjali and Payal.  True to their word, neither had mentioned anything about that conversation to anyone.  Occasionally, they would sit and talk to Khushi, let her whine about her feelings and her frustration.  It hadn't gone unnoticed by any of them that Arnav hadn't even so much as gone on a date in the last month.  Hence, Khushi's question about his well being...not that she minded him not dating other women.

"Shut up, Di.  And Khush...do you not have that exam in an hour?  Go study and leave me alone."  Arnav bit into the apple he'd been holding.

"Oh stop behaving like a cranky old lady and drop me to the exam center.  Move your a**."  She ordered as she walked towards her bedroom.

Twenty minutes later found Khushi sitting in the passenger seat of Arnav's car, biting her nails.

"Stop that."  Arnav grabbed her hand at the wrist, pulled it away from her face only to let it rest on his thigh and refused to let go.  Khushi relented and started chewing on her bottom lip instead.  She was nervous and there was no stopping her.  Arnav wanted to groan.  It was hard enough keeping his hands off of her without her practically inviting him to touch her.  And her biting her lip that way...

At the moment, there was nothing he wanted to do more than pull the car over to the side of the road and kiss her senseless.

"Will you stop worrying about the exam??  I've noticed that this semester you've been more stressed about your grades...What's up with that Tiny?"  Arnav tried to engage her in a conversation so that she would stop biting her lips and drawing his attention to them.

Khushi shrugged absent mindedly and looked out the window but gave no other explanation.  Suddenly, Arnav got the feeling that she was hiding something from him.  It was random and not based on any solid evidence...just his gut feeling.

"Well...it's a good thing that your exams are done today...otherwise I'd have to spend our Thursday night alone..."  He joked.

Khushi frowned at him.  "Not a chance...hasn't happened in the past four years."

Arnav smiled as he stopped the car in front of her exam center.  "Let's do something different today...let's go for dinner instead of gaming?"

Khushi nodded and the two stepped out of the car.  She looked up at the building and drew in a shaky breath.  Before she had a chance to exhale, she was engulfed by a familiar warmth in a cocoon of Arnav's arms, drowning her in a woodsy, musky, Arnav scent.

"You'll be fine, Khush.  As usual."  He pulled apart and kissed her forehead encouragingly.  "Go and make me proud...I'll be here when you're done." 

Always the same parting sentence- Go and make me proud.  She gave him a big smile and turned to enter the fancy looking building.  She had merely taken a step away from him when she felt him grab her wrist again.  She turned to look at him confusedly.  His curious expression made her raise her eyebrows at him questioningly.

"I get the feeling that you're hiding something from me..."  He began.

Khushi blinked a couple of times.  Damn!  And here she thought she was doing a good job of hiding it from him.  She'd kept one secret-her feelings-from him for more than four years but this one secret, barely weeks old, she couldn't mask.

Way to go, Khushi Kumari Gupta.  

"There's something I want to tell you..."  She admitted.

Hope instantly flickered within him.  He knew that in a few days, he was going to talk to her about how he felt towards her, what she meant to him, how much he loved her.  He had done everything he could to try and figure out whether or not there was someone Khushi seemed to be interested in and he'd figured out that there was no one.  Not Joel, not Arnav himself...no one.  This was better than her being interested in someone because that would change everything.  Now that he was sure there was no one, he had decided to stick with his initial decision which was to tell her how he felt.

Could it be that she wanted to talk about the same thing?

"I've wanted to tell you for a while now...but...I guess today seems like a good day...post exams and stuff."  Khushi smiled nervously, hoping desperately that he didn't ask her what she wanted to tell him.

In all honesty, she was worried about what his reaction would be.  Would he be angry?  Would he be hurt that she hadn't discussed her plans with him like she usually did?  Would he be supportive?  Would he tell her to make him proud' like he always did?  She wasn't sure. 

She had intended her application to Medical School be a surprise but now she was unsure of her own decision.  She obviously didn't think she would get accepted when she applied.  But she had managed to get in and now, there was no other way but to tell him.  It was a big decision that she'd taken all by herself, without confiding in him at all.  Surely, he would understand.  Surely, he would remember that her father had always dreamed of his little Titaliyaa as a doctor one day.

"We'll talk tonight."  He smiled at her and let go of her wrist, looking content.

Relief washed over her.  She still had time to collect her thoughts and plan out this conversation with him.  Smiling widely at him, she quickly leaned in to kiss his cheek and waved him bye before rushing to her exam room.  Arnav stood there feeling dazed for a couple of minutes.  His mind very hopeful about their conversation and his vision filled with the various expressions of Khushi's that he may get to see once his feelings become known to her.

The shrill ringing of the cell phone brought him out of his thoughts.  Cursing the technology, he pulled out the phone from his pocket.  He frowned at the caller ID when he realized who it was but answered the call regardless.

*

"Ugh!  Stupid jerk!"  Khushi stomped her way away from the exam center, annoyed at a certain Raizada.  She had finished her exam an hour and a half ago and she'd been waiting here for him to show up.  He'd said that he would be here but of course, the idiot was nowhere to be found.  She couldn't even get a call through to him.

Probably forgot to charge his phone again, that idiot!

Khushi was still in a bad mood when she got home.  She stalked to Arnav's bedroom and threw the door open, almost certain that she would find him sprawled on his bed, fast asleep. But the room was vacant.  Not a trace of Arnav.

What the Fuck!

Worry seeped through her as she tried calling him over and over again without any response.  Within minutes, she realized that she was alone at home.  Just Bloody perfect.  Deciding to celebrate the end of her exams by herself in her special way, she walked off into the kitchen to make a batch of Jalebi.

After every few jalebis that she pulled out of the pan, she tried calling Arnav again with fruitless results.  After her seventh attempt, she was letting out a string of choicest swear words when she heard someone whistle behind her.

"Someone's in a bad mood."  Rohan noted as he leaned against the edge of the doorway.  Khushi muttered something and went back to frying, making Rohan chuckle.

"Why are you home?  Isn't it your Thursday night with Arnav?"

"The asshole is missing.  I don't know where he went and his phone is either turned off or dead.  Dead is what he'll be when he gets home."  Khushi shoved a jalebi in her mouth.

"He'll turn up soon enough.  For the time being, I'm glad you're here...I need your help."  Rohan jumped up and took a seat on the counter next to the stove.

Khushi paused and turned to look at him.  "Is it about Anjali?"

"How did you know?"  Rohan was truly surprised, though he shouldn't have been.

"Anjali seems to be the only reason why you would need help from me."  Khushi winked at him.

Rohan rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly and looked at her from under his eyelashes.  "Well...considering that you helped us get together...and considering that you're good at surprises...I need your help planning a wedding proposal."

The ladle slipped out of Khushi's hand and landed at her feet, splattering the floor and surroundings with batter.  Her eyes were saucer sized and her lips formed an O' as she looked at him.

"I'm planning on asking her after the graduation party for you kids."  Rohan grinned.

Khushi's eyes narrowed.  By kids, he meant Khushi, Payal, Akash, and Arnav.

"You're only two years older than us...grandfather."  Khushi teased him back.

"Well then help your grandfather plan a wedding proposal, will you?" 

Khushi's mind whirred back to their truth and dare game that they'd played.  Payal's question didn't seem like a waste now.  Anjali wasn't ready to get married yet and chances were...if Rohan asked now, she would say no.  What would follow her refusal? 

Damn!  What do I do?  Should I tell him?  But how can I tell him that his girlfriend isn't ready to get married yet?  Besides, we're not supposed to tell anyone what we talked about that day...not to mention that if I let out her secret, Anjali might let out mine.   Oh, Hell no!!  Drop a hint Khushi.  Make him question his decision!  Drop the hint!  Come on!  Drop it!  Drop. It.

"Has she been dropping hints about wanting to get married?"  Khushi decided to take a different way around to the same destination.

Well done, Gupta!  Very well done!

Rohan squinted in concentration as he tried to recall whether or not Anjali had dropped any hints.

"Hmm...I don't think I recall any..."  Rohan stated matter-of-factly.  "But we've been together for over three years now...and we'll be done our studies in one more semester...don't you think she's expecting me to propose by now?"

You would THINK...but when can anyone predict what the hell goes on in the minds of the Raizada Siblings!

"Don't assume..."  Khushi said gently, trying her best to make sure she didn't blurt any facts.  "Look...why don't you try figuring out whether or not she wants to get married yet first?  I mean...if you can figure that out, you might even get a few hints about what's her idea of a perfect proposal and then of course I'll help you with the set-up..."  Khushi smiled her million dollar smile at him.

Forget Medical School...become a match maker.  You're pretty damn good at this shut!

Rohan considered her suggestion.  Khushi's suggestion made sense...if he proposed and she said no, things may get awkward between the two...perhaps it may even lead to a break up and he couldn't have that.  He loved her too much for that.  If he figured that she wasn't ready to get married yet...then he would hold off on the proposal.  Yeah.  He would do just that.

Smiling at Khushi, he hopped off the counter and gathered her in a hug.  "I think I'll do just that.  Thank you!  You're the best!"

"That I am."  Khushi chuckled.

"Don't tell her anything about this!"  Rohan reminded as he pulled away.

Khushi rolled her eyes.  "No shit Sherlock!  I know it's supposed to be a surprise...I'm not that much of an idiot."

*

Khushi paced impatiently, on the verge of freaking out.  Correction, she was freaking out.  She didn't need to clip her nails this week because she'd bitten them off in the last few hours.  It was 9pm in the night and Arnav was still nowhere to be found.  She'd made some calls to some of his friends from his class and they didn't know where he was.  Akash, Payal, and Rohan didn't know where he was either.

Only one person was left to ask.  Anjali.  But Khushi tried to delay making a call to her.  Khushi knew well that Anjali would freak out.  If Arnav didn't call or show up in another hour, she would call Anjali.

Just as she was about to dial his number again, her phone beeped, indicating a new text message.  It was from Arnav.  

Khush, I'm gonna be out tonight.  I'll see you guys tomorrow at home.  Tell Di to not worry and you don't worry either.  See you.

Khushi frowned at the screen and re-read the message repeatedly.  He was out tonight?  Tonight???  On a Thursday night??  Arnav's signature What the' seemed very appropriate response.

He won't be home tonight...but...they had plans for tonight.  Hell, she had plans for tonight.  She was going to tell him about her acceptance into a medical school...But where the hell was he?

Khushi dialled his number and was confused further when it redirected her to his voicemail.  She disconnected the call grumpily and read the text message again.  It shouldn't feel like this.  She shouldn't feel sad...almost heartbroken.  It wasn't right. 

It's just a missed night out...no big deal.  It's no big deal.  He would come back tomorrow and everything will be back to normal.  No big deal.  No big deal.

Sighing, she walked towards Anjali's room.

She knocked on the door and tapped her foot impatiently, waiting for Anjali to open the door. When the door opened, Anjali stood surprised, looking at Khushi.

"Why are you still home?  Isn't it your Thursday night with Arnav?"  Anjali's eyebrows knit together in confusion.

Seriously.  Everyone has to stop bringing that up.  So what if he missed the first Thursday night in four years?  He never bailed on any other nights...maybe something came up.  No big deal, Khushi.  It is not a big deal.

"He's out tonight.  He won't be home until tomorrow.  He just wanted me to tell you so you don't freak out."  Khushi tried her best to sound nonchalant and smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.  Anjali's eyes caught the detail immediately.

Before Anjali could say anything, Khushi had walked away and into her own room.  Anjali stood in the doorway, truly confused.  She took her cell phone out from her pocket and instantly dialled her brother's number.

*

"But he never misses these things...neither of them do...it's been going on for four years!"  Payal said exasperatedly.

"I know..."  Anjali said in a small voice.  "I think Khushi's upset about it...I'm not sure..."

Payal looked at the door of Khushi's bedroom and then at Anjali.  No one spoke for a few seconds.

"You...You don't think it's another girlfriend, do you?"  Payal asked at last.

Anjali shook her head.  "I don't know...but he normally doesn't stay over at their house...just this morning Khushi was teasing him and he didn't mention anything...besides Arnav wouldn't cancel his plans with Khushi for a girlfriend...Maybe something else came up?  Maybe we're over reacting..."

Payal nodded absent mindedly.  "I'll go spend time with Khushi."

"I'll come too."

The two girls quietly walked to Khushi's door and knocked twice.  When they got no response, Payal took the liberty to crack open the door.  She peeped into Khushi's room for a couple of seconds and then pulled her head back out, closing the door.

"She's asleep."

*

The next day wasn't any better for Khushi.  Arnav had sent another barely informative text to Khushi around noon.  Just like yesterday, her calls wouldn't go through and she found herself getting frustrated more than ever.  More angry than frustrated.

Another batch of jalebi had just been fried and slammed onto the dining table.  Anjali picked up the swirly sweet and bit into it, effectively ignoring Khushi's bad mood.  There was no point in questioning and probing her about it.  It would only irritate her more.

"How are we supposed to surprise him if he doesn't show up?"  Anjali questioned no one in particular.

"We could forget the decorations and just surprise him with the cake and then the usual party at his favourite club...?"  Payal suggested.

"Well...we still have all day today...Akash will go pick up the cake in the evening...just before the bakery closes...that way it's easier to hide it..."  Rohan chimed in.

"Why aren't you saying anything?" Anjali questioned Khushi.

Khushi simply sighed.  "The plan was that I would take him out and wouldn't return until midnight...at that point...we could surprise him for his birthday but I don't know where he is...he said he'll be home in the evening..."

"well, the decorations are hiding in my room...you can still lure him out of the house after gets home...it will give us time to ready everything."  Payal smiled.

The planning for Arnav's birthday surprise was going on in full swing...except...all their plans had to be preliminary until they figured out Arnav's schedule for the day.

All their hopes soared when he showed up, at last, at 6 in the evening.  With muttered greetings, he made his way to his bedroom, making Khushi frown.  He hadn't asked anything about her exam, he had barely noticed their presence in the room; he barely looked at any of them.  Everyone noticed but no one but Akash said a word.

"What the hell happened to him?"  Akash wondered out loud.

Anjali and Khushi exchanged a look as if communicating silently.  With a nod from Anjali, Khushi stood up and made her way to his room.  She settled herself in the middle of his bed when she figured that he was in the washroom.

Clearly, something was up.  He wasn't behaving in his usual manner and that worried Khushi.  It wasn't like him to not be present where he'd promised to be.  It wasn't like him to leave Khushi hanging on a Thursday night.  It wasn't like him to not answer her calls or text her more often.  It wasn't like him to not call Anjali.  It wasn't like him to show up nearly 24 hours later, and not greet them properly.

It's not a big deal, Khushi.  She reminded herself.

Khushi heard the door to his washroom open and her head snapped in his direction.  He walked to his closet, wearing only his black denim jeans.

"Did you need something, Khush?"  He spoke with his back to her.

Khushi raised her eyebrows.  Since when did he question her presence in his room? 

"No...I just wanted to talk to you..."

His hands stilled for a second and then he resumed searching for something again.  "Let's talk later, Khush...I'm drained...I think I'll take a nap."

"Are you feeling okay?  We got worried...we didn't know where you went..." 

"I'm fine.  And I'm not a child; I can take of myself, Khush.  I just had to see a buddy...he's...going through a bad break up."

Khushi flared.  If he had been facing her, he would have seen her eyes flash dangerously.  She hated being lied to.  She stood up from the bed in a quick motion.

"If you don't want to tell me where you were, you don't have to.  Just don't lie to me."  She snapped.

The only indication that her words affected him was in the stiffening of his spine.  "Why do you think I'm lying, Khush?  I was with my friend."  He tried to sound casual.

"Oh shut up.  You think I don't know when you're lying? I've known you for a long time Arnav...and if your tone didn't give away your lies, then the fact that you haven't looked at me for a second during this entire conversation is ample proof that you're lying."

He heard her angry retreating footsteps and guessed that she was about to leave his room.  He inhaled a deep breath, composed himself, and turned to look at her.

"Khushi?"

She froze with her hand on the doorknob. 

Khushi...not Khush...Khushi.  Well, Hell.

She stood stiffly, her back facing him.  She didn't bother to turn around and look at him.  She didn't want him to see the tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry."  He rasped out.

He saw her muscles relaxing a little bit and she turned her head sideways, still not quite looking at him.  She waited for an explanation.  What exactly was he sorry for?? 

She didn't ask and he didn't clarify.  With a curt nod, she stepped out of his room and slammed the door shut behind her.  She saw Anjali look at her curiously from the couch while the others pretended to not have heard the door slamming, and in response, Khushi just shrugged.  She made her way into her own room and shut the door.

She pulled out her oldest companion"her diary.  Just as she opened it, a folded paper fell out of it.  She unfolded the familiar letter and re-read it.  Her acceptance letter.

*

A couple hours later, Khushi stepped out of her room with determination.  She was going to let his earlier lying stunt slide for now.  She needed to talk to him about this.  She wanted him to be the first one to find out.  And she was hiding it from her other friends because he didn't know yet.  Just as she reached his door, Anjali's voice stopped her.

"He left a few minutes ago.  He's going to see some friend.  He said he'll be back late and I told him to take his time...it works out perfectly for us...and now we could use your help with the decorations."  Anjali rambled on as she handed Khushi a couple of rolls of streamers.

All the tension and the earlier less than cordial conversation flew out of Khushi's mind as she busied herself in preparations for Arnav's birthday Surprise.  He would return home today and after his birthday celebration, things would go back to normal.  When he was ready to tell her what he'd been up to in the past couple of days, he could tell her.  She didn't want to be lied to and the only way to avoid that was to not ask questions.

With these thoughts, hours later, she was sitting in the living room in the company of the others, waiting for Arnav to come back.  It was close to midnight and if he showed up now, the surprise would fall in place perfectly.  Except...He didn't.

The time ticked away.  The cake was put back in the fridge.  For a fleeting moment, Khushi worried that he wouldn't show up at all.

*

He didn't show up until past 1:30am.  When he entered the living room, he found everyone seated in the living room.  Cheers and choruses of Happy Birthday' rang out in the penthouse and for the time being, everything seemed to be normal.  He let himself get pulled into multiple hugs as they wished him wholeheartedly.

Payal excused herself and within a minute returned with a black forest cake, with a single candle alit in the center.  Smiling slightly, he cut the cake and as usual fed the first bite to his Di, followed by Khushi and then the others. 

As they sat around in the living room, with him holding his birthday gifts, it didn't matter to them that it was the middle of the night.  Everyone was busy simply talking and watching his reactions to the gifts.  Rohan and Akash had gotten him a video game each that he didn't have and wanted.  Payal had opted for a copy of the Original Frankenstein movie.

"You just have to promise that you and Khushi will watch it when we're not around...we don't want to hear your dubbed version of the classic."  She teased after he thanked her.

Anjali and Khushi had coordinated their gifts.  Arnav opened the large box by Anjali to find a silver grey Armani shirt.  He picked up the small note in the box which read 'Better get used to button up shirts, Mr. Businessman.'  He had rolled his eyes initially but then gave his sister an affectionate hug.  He picked up the last small box, which was from Khushi.  He opened it to find a black and grey striped tie by Armani.  Her addition of the note said 'just to make you look a bit more sophisticated.'

He smiled at her and gave her a quick hug, too.

Khushi's mind immediately went into a whirlwind of thoughts.  He didn't hug her the way he normally did.  Why was he being so...distant?  He was still avoiding looking at her as much as he could.  He avoided touching her as much as he could.  Hell, he even avoided being in the same conversation as her as much as he could.

First he disappeared, then he lied, then he disappeared again.  And now he is being odd and simply weird.

What the hell is going on?